8Bill's friend Harry arrived at his Internal Revenue Service audit accompanied by his attorney. Going over his records, the IRS official said, "Well, sir, it appears that you live at a much higher level than your reported employment income. How do you explain that?"
Before the attorney could speak, Harry replied, "I love to gamble and I usually win." The skeptical official gave him a disbelieving look. "I can prove it," said Harry. "How about a demonstration?"
The official thought a moment and said, "Okay. Go ahead."
Harry said, "I'll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye."
The auditor thought a moment and said, "No way! It's a bet!"
Harry removed his glass eye and bit it. The official's jaw dropped. Harry said, "Now, I'll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye."
The official could tell Harry wasn't blind, so he took the bet. Harry then removed his dentures and bit his good eye. The stunned official was now three grand in the hole!
"Want to go double or nothing?" Harry asked. "I'll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on your desk and piss into that wastebasket by the door over there and never get a drop anywhere in between."
The auditor, twice burned, was cautious now, but there's no way this guy could manage that stunt, so he agreed again! Harry climbed up on the auditor's desk, missed the wastebasket completely, and pretty much pissed all over the desk. The official grinned. He had just turned a huge loss into a huge win! But then he noticed that Harry's attorney looked ashen and was visibly shaking. "Are you okay?" he asked.
The lawyer replied, "Not really. Before we arrived, Harry bet me twenty thousand dollars he'd piss on your desk and you'd be happy about it!"
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